The snow storm
outside wasn’t getting the best of me. I could just, explore my house. After all it’s only been about 2 weeks since
I moved in this house. I looked almost everywhere…NOTHING ! So I guess that was
worthless, but wait my brother’s room and looked around his room seemed to have
a strange scent coming towards the closet as I walked towards it I saw that his
closet has a mini door? I saw this green
slime type of thing in a jar full of vinegar as I turned around it changed shape. I’ll keep this place a secret
and use it for myself.
I think that your story is great, but at a few parts I was confused. At the part where "...I looked almost everywhere...NOTHING ! " there should not be a space between the G and the ! mark. Also where " So I guess that was worthless, but wait my brothers room and looked around his room seemed to have a strange sent coming towards the closet as I walked towards it I saw that his closet has a mini door?" That is a run on sentence, you should add more periods to that sentence. Also where you said "...But wait my brothers room and looked..." you should say " But wait, my brothers room and I..." you need to add the I in there other wise it is confusing. Other than that its a great story!
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