Hollywood Tower
Hotel Inspired by
The Tower of terror ride in Disneyland
Near
the year of 1864, two young folks were visiting California. They had made a reservation
to stay at, The Hollywood Tower Hotel. The 2 men decided to take an elevator that seemed much less crowded than the others, in fact no one was
going on that elevator. But little did
they know that was the worst decision they ever made. The men walked onto the
elevator when suddenly it dashed up to the top of the hotel and back down. But
they reached a strange level called the Twilight Zone. From then on, no one knows what happened to them exactly. But we do know they roam the halls and walk threw through room to room each night. Now this Hotel is now known as, The Tower
of Terror.
Instead of putting a period at the end of 1864 put a comma. Near the year of 1864, two young folks were visiting California.
ReplyDeleteBut little did they know that was the worst decision they ever made. Maybe change it to, But little did they know that was the worst decision they would ever make.
Just put, But they reached a strange level call the Twilight Zone. Instead of they seemed to. Maybe change this sentence to read, From then on, no one knows what happened to them exactly. But we do know they roam the halls and walk through room to room each night.
Thank you,that helped a lot
DeleteInstead of, 'another elevator' i think it should be, 'an elevator'
ReplyDelete'Less crowded then the others,' I think it should be, 'Less crowded than the others,'
Thank you
Delete